Cherish

You would think that after almost 16 months I would have accepted the enormity of the love that I have for AJ, but it still amazes me.  The past 2 weeks I have had a few observations as AJ seems to be developing by leaps and bounds.

1.  I literally daydream about what I would do if I were home with him every day.  I know I know, the grass is always greener.  But one day this week I left work and ran to Whole Foods to grab lunch, and I saw moms and babies and moms and toddlers, and I thought jeez, I'd totally take AJ food shopping!  We've been getting groceries delivered literally since he was born, so except for a trip or 2 here or there, its not something AJ and I do together regularly.  This quickly morphed into thinking about taking him on picnics, and up to the beach, and thinking about how he'd react to the seagulls flying around, and whether or not he'd be scared of the ocean waves. Story time at the library, or lunch with grandma and grandpa. The weekends are just too short, but we do try to do one thing to together each weekend, just mommy and AJ.  

2.  As much as I try to soak AJ in when I do have time with him, and despite the fact that my hard drive is busting at the seams with the number of pictures Ive taken to try to capture all of his moments, I am petrified that I'm going to forget the little details that are making each and every day with him so special.  This weekend he was babbling so many new noises, they were hysterical, he really thinks he is talking.  He tries to say so many words now and his memory is incredible.  He loves playing on the grass, and loves picking up rocks and collecting sticks when we are at the park.  I never thought teaching him to take 'one' Cheerio rather than his typical fist-ful would be a moment that filled me with pride, but it did.  Every day is a new discovery and my merely mortal memory can't retain all the mini-moments with the kind of accuracy my heart wishes for.   I just want to bottle every moment.  If nothing else I guess it has taught me that I have to be better about documenting these little things in some way, whether its his baby book, a journal or blog I feel like I have to record it somewhere.  

Roasted Chicken Thighs

Roasted Chicken Thighs... not some witty way of referring to AJs legs.  He hasnt had chicken thighs since about 3 weeks old.  Although he grew 1/2 an inch between 12 and 15 months, his legs remain cushioned with ample pudge... just calling for tickling fingers!

I'm actually literally referring to roasted chicken thighs, which I just took out of the oven.  My latest endeavor to get AJ to eat actual meat.  His typical reaction to meat of any non-babyfood kind is to put it in his mouth, then stick out his tongue and precisely remove said meat, placing it on his high chair.  But, mom isnt giving up and today we're trying something new.

I remember when I was pregnant and I went back to easting whole eggs (instead of just whites)-- it was like I rediscovered food!  Whole eggs are SO GOOD!  How did I ever convince myself that the whites alone were good enough?  Thats how I felt today with the chicken.  I was squarely in the white meat only camp for so long that I forgot the juicyness that is some dark meat.  If I can't convince AJ of this deliciousness, we may very well have a vegetarian on our hands!

In the past 2 months since I last blogged, its like we got a different kid!  He's walking-- most of the time first grabbing my finger and dragging me wherever he wants to go, just for a little more balance, but he's doing it!  He has so many 'words' now also, trying to repeat what we say even if much of it sounds similar.  I love to hear his daily babble, when hes playing alone or when he gets very excited about something.  He's probably sick of my quizzing him on what all the animals say but his lion roar is just too precious to go more than a few hours without hearing.  He still loves books, but Im noticing he gets bored more quickly so we have to swap out the rotation every few days.  Aj is also starting to communicate his preferences with vigor.  Well, more like when he doesnt want to do something he will surely let you know.  I see glimpses of tantrums in our future and I am pre-summoning as much patience as I can.

Oh, we finally got some more teeth too!  The count if 4 and climbing... 3 on bottom and one lone front tooth so far.  He asks to brush them about 10x a day but I'm still too nervous to use even baby toothpaste.

Ah and with that, I hear him up from his nap.  Some how in the last few weeks his wake up time has moved from 6:15am to 5:30am and I'm just not sure how to change that, other than becoming an early bird myself.  Not the worst thing, an extra half hour-45 mins with him in the morning is kind of a nice treat!

Just Kidding

So I'm not a doctor, and I'm not really sure how allergies work beyond the basics, but this one has got me totally thrown.  Saturday AJ had a reaction to eggs.  If you are keeping score, the progression has gone like this:

~2 months ago:  yolks, no reaction
~1 month ago:  whole egg, no reaction
Florida 3 weeks ago:  whole egg (undercooked?), a few hives all of a sudden while he ate
Last week:  Whole egg twice in the week, no reaction
Saturday:
Egg for lunch (ate the whole thing), red spots on face, or just messy eating?
Wake up from nap, hives on his face, ears very red and starting to swell(?!), followed by hives on neck, redness and hives on his legs, under arms and on belly.

Poor kiddo!  Although none of this seemed to phase him at all...so I guess poor mom and dad is more like it.

I had no idea your ears could swell from an allergy.  So, AJ got his first dose of Benedryl ever on Saturday and symptoms subsided within 30 minutes.  I don't know if the level of egg cooked-ness is a real thing or not, and maybe he'd be fine eating something with egg as an ingredient, but I'm not really very eager to try.

In happier news, AJ loves being outside now that the weather is nicer!  He constantly asks to go over to the window or door with an aggressive point of his arm.  He's been 'walking' holding our fingers more and more and even though when he tries to say most words they come out as "da" "ba" or "ka" he actually does have consistent words for 'up' (puh),  'milk' (ka), and 'car' (ca), not to be confused with his word for 'vacuum' which is more like a German back of the throat kkkkkkkkkaaaaa or the sound you would make if you swallowed a bug.  He is obsessed with the vacuum.  Even the swiffer will due in absence of a vacuum.  The cutest thing lately though is if you ask him if he has smelly feet, he reaches down to get his foot and smells it with a nose inhale sound and all.  He also plays peekaboo with himself in the mirror when he wakes up in the morning.  He has been much more willing to give mommy hugs and 'cuddle' with daddy, which he learned from one of his books, called (of course) "Cuddle".  He got a stuffed animal for Easter which he immediately hugged, as he does his other stuffed animals.  It is beyond adorable to see him start to show affection, and even kind of know what it means.  Almost 14 months old... where did the time go!

Worry of the Day

Since there probably is a new worry every day, sometimes founded, sometimes paranoid, here is today's:

When do we teach AJ that his name is actually Anthony?  I picture him on the first day of Kindergarten as his new teacher is taking attendance, and not answering when they say Anthony, and just sitting quietly hopeful that at some point in the list the teacher will say AJ.  Because as a Kindergartener, that's what I would've done.  We will definitely have to teach him to not be as polite as his mom.
Ooof.  Still better than teaching him hamburger = cow.

Reversal of Fortune

As it turns out, AJ is not allergic to eggs after all.  We tried again this weekend and he had no reaction, and actually ate the whole thing.  I don't know what happened last attempt but he is apparently over it, and I am rejoicing to have one more food to be able to give him.

This weekend we also tried salmon for the first time.  Perhaps it was because he was also having awesome, delicious sweet potato, but he hated the salmon.  Like, wouldnt even pick it up.  When he accidentally got some in his mouth he made a terrible face and picked it off his tongue.  Hilarious.  But the funny part for me was when I enthusiastically announced "AJ, we're having fish for dinner!' and he started to make the fishy noise that he makes when we see pet goldfish.  Oh my gosh.  Panic.  Someday I will have to explain that we eat animals. The animals that he plays with plastic toy replicas of and lovingly makes their sounds. In all of my anticipatory worry about parenthood, that was not a question I thought of!   Maybe we will just be vegetarians and I can avoid the topic forever!

Everything Must Go!

In the 20 days since my last update, I'm [fill in undecided feeling here] to say that I have successfully gotten down to producing almost no milk, and I accomplished this without a major mental/hormonal breakdown.  It was certainly convenient not to lug a big pump with me down the eastern seaboard, and also nice to not have to stop what I was doing at some point in the day to pump.  I'm left now with: a recurring thought that there is something I forgot to do, an occasional need to pump the tiniest bit (literally drops), a little more time in the day, a minute to minute fear that I am putting weight back on, and, bras from pre-pregnancy that are too big on me, not awesome.  So... I guess that's it?  No confetti or anything? :-)

In other news, AJ had a successful first plane ride and an unsuccessful second trial of whole eggs.  I am also amazed to see that most unflavored soy milk still has sugar added, and how far I have to dig to find the ones without added sugar.  I assume I am doing the right thing... does a 1 year old really need evaporated cane juice?  This week we will probably try tofu.  In what form, I don't know yet.

My best guess is that he will be walking for real sometime in the next month.  He bravely takes a step or 2 at a time and then usually falls, but he does keep trying!  And he can definitely do an ok job walking if he is holding on to my finger.  His personality came out even more while we were on vacation.  Such a silly boy, and so excited about everything, especially the dog!  Another high point was when the kid 2 rows ahead of us on the plane kept screaming-- not crying, just randomly SCREAMING , and AJ put his hands over his ears.  I didnt even know he knew how to do that!  Seriously, he cracks me up every day!

Psychological/Biological/Illogical?

Something is up.

This past week I got the first pimple I've had on my face since first trimester of pregnancy.  Two actually.
Yesterday I had to take a nap (a nap?!) because I was totally exhausted and could seriously no longer function.  I woke up this morning and could. not. move.  Its a cross between as exhausted as I was during pregnancy, and what i can only describe as feeling like thick mud is moving through my veins.
I've gotten more than one sideways glance from Joe this week for snappy answers I gave to pretty innocent questions.

This week I also fully cut out one of my remaining three pumping sessions of the day, and have been decreasing the amount I pump at the other two.  It took me a full week to adjust to moving from 2 to 3 but comfort/discomfort wise, I'm fine now.   The other times of day I'm not even getting as much, so.... I guess its working.

Except whatever the F is happening as my hormones try to figure themselves out.  I don't think its a coincidence that these things are linked, and Dr. Google has provided enough evidence that I don't think I'm making it up.  The truth is I've been feeling basically amazing since pregnancy, counting out first trimester and the couple of times I was a crazed paranoid maniac during the third.  Sure I was a little weepy in the week or so that followed AJ being born, but overall I have never felt better in the 11 months that followed-- physically and mentally.  And I think its all about to come to a screeching halt.