No, not a cute Valentines day pun... more like, I think AJ has an allergy. On Sunday he had yogurt for lunch, and an abundance of kisses from his grandparents for dessert. Shortly after, his cheeks and chin got super red and splotchy and bumpy. I attributed it to more kisses than usual (so hard to resist) including facial hair and lipstick (don't worry, not on the same person). But when it happened again yesterday after more yogurt and no kisses... its not looking so good. As reactions go, some face splotchiness isnt so bad, but Mondays reaction was worse than Sunday's so needless to say, no more yogurt.
Whats odd is that he has had yogurt in jar food mixes for over a month with no ill effects... but I have read that this can happen suddenly. I'm not sure this fares so well for our transition to milk, but the doctor will make that call. Supposedly kids can outgrow dairy allergies (if that is in fact what this is) so we will see. And to think, I ate all that cheese and drank all that milk during pregnancy how could his body not love it!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Resolution check-in
Right after the new year I posted about my New Years Resolutions. Now that we're into February, let's do a little check in.
-Multitask less. The intention here is to give more of my undivided attention to whatever it is that I am doing. Grade: D-
Let's face it, a D- is basically and F. I'm really not sure how to get better at this.
-Start working out again. I thought my expectations were pretty reasonable here. 3x a week at home plus yoga once a week.
Grade: C I've worked out a total of 6 times since the beginning of the year and gone to yoga zero times. Not total failure but certainly still room for improvement. I think a C is generous.
-Cut the pump cord by April. Can't really do anything on this until the doctor clears AJ to start having Milk, but I have been trying to mentally prepare myself. Also, I have started to decrease the amount I pump at mid-day. Grade: B
-Declutter this house. This one is temporarily on hold but I did clean out and reorganize my closet. Also, this will get a ginormous kick start when we start kitchen construction (more like entire first floor construction) in March. I am secretly thrilled.
Grade: TBD
-Cook more. My goal was 2x a week.
Grade: B-
This wasn't a very lofty goal but I'm still struggling with it a bit. Some weeks its great, Other weeks its a lot of cereal. But at least I have been making sure AJ has cut up veggies and fruit. I think this one will continue to improve, as I get more organized with my shopping list too.
So.... I still have some work to do. But these are all still important and really not too much to ask. Onward and upward!
-Multitask less. The intention here is to give more of my undivided attention to whatever it is that I am doing. Grade: D-
Let's face it, a D- is basically and F. I'm really not sure how to get better at this.
-Start working out again. I thought my expectations were pretty reasonable here. 3x a week at home plus yoga once a week.
Grade: C I've worked out a total of 6 times since the beginning of the year and gone to yoga zero times. Not total failure but certainly still room for improvement. I think a C is generous.
-Cut the pump cord by April. Can't really do anything on this until the doctor clears AJ to start having Milk, but I have been trying to mentally prepare myself. Also, I have started to decrease the amount I pump at mid-day. Grade: B
-Declutter this house. This one is temporarily on hold but I did clean out and reorganize my closet. Also, this will get a ginormous kick start when we start kitchen construction (more like entire first floor construction) in March. I am secretly thrilled.
Grade: TBD
-Cook more. My goal was 2x a week.
Grade: B-
This wasn't a very lofty goal but I'm still struggling with it a bit. Some weeks its great, Other weeks its a lot of cereal. But at least I have been making sure AJ has cut up veggies and fruit. I think this one will continue to improve, as I get more organized with my shopping list too.
So.... I still have some work to do. But these are all still important and really not too much to ask. Onward and upward!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Taters for my Tot
I conquered a bit of my food fear with AJ this week. My cousin suggested the very obvious but totally foreign to me idea of cooking a potato and giving it to AJ. Duh. Why didn't I think of this.
So Monday evening I stuck 2 potatoes in the oven and baked them in nothing but foil (the chef I am!). Once they were done I cut them up into tiny pieces and wouldn't you know-- perfect finger food and AJ loved them. Actually I loved them too. I don't know what kind of potatoes these were but for not having one drop of butter or salt they were delicious. So then I steamed some carrots so we'd have them on hand too. AJ loved them both and ate them all by himself. Once again, oh mommy of little faith, I was proven wrong and my little guy is obviously well up to the task and took it all in stride. Remind me of this when he starts daycare, starts school, learns to ride a bike, etc etc etc etc.
I still have no idea how to give him non-babyfood meat, nor what portions and distribution of food groups to give him but this is progress.
As I've said every single month, THIS IS THE BEST AGE! Despite his clinginess which does get pretty difficult, I adore the fact that he is getting so curious and that he just understands so much. One of my new favorites is singing "where is thumbkin" to him. We just started this over the weekend, and tonight when I sag it to him right away he held out his hands and started moving his fingers. he doesn't hold the right one up but who cares! He totally gets it. Oh man, just totally in love.
So Monday evening I stuck 2 potatoes in the oven and baked them in nothing but foil (the chef I am!). Once they were done I cut them up into tiny pieces and wouldn't you know-- perfect finger food and AJ loved them. Actually I loved them too. I don't know what kind of potatoes these were but for not having one drop of butter or salt they were delicious. So then I steamed some carrots so we'd have them on hand too. AJ loved them both and ate them all by himself. Once again, oh mommy of little faith, I was proven wrong and my little guy is obviously well up to the task and took it all in stride. Remind me of this when he starts daycare, starts school, learns to ride a bike, etc etc etc etc.
I still have no idea how to give him non-babyfood meat, nor what portions and distribution of food groups to give him but this is progress.
As I've said every single month, THIS IS THE BEST AGE! Despite his clinginess which does get pretty difficult, I adore the fact that he is getting so curious and that he just understands so much. One of my new favorites is singing "where is thumbkin" to him. We just started this over the weekend, and tonight when I sag it to him right away he held out his hands and started moving his fingers. he doesn't hold the right one up but who cares! He totally gets it. Oh man, just totally in love.
Monday, January 16, 2012
In the dumps
I just don't know where I will come up with ideas to blog about after I stop pumping. It's seriously an endless source of mental energy. Today marks a full week that I have been dumping some, if not all, of my milk every day. I have never been so thankful for my freezer stash. Last Sunday night I started to feel sick. Like really sick. I thought I had escaped the super-germ that Joe got after Christmas but sure as Murphy's Law would have it, I got it the day before I was to leave for Vegas for 4 days. Sunday night my throat and head hurt so much, that I got up at 2 am and actually took cough medicine. This is saying a lot since (outside of C section meds) I have not taken even a single Tylenol since getting pregnant. But I didn't think I would make it, so I took it knowing that I would have to dump the last milk I'd have the opportunity to pump before leaving on Monday morning.
Now, I have no idea if I am overly cautious when it comes to getting rid of milk that may or may not be tainted with OTC cold remedies. But the guilt that ensued back when I was in my first trimester prevailed and (rather than calling the doctor) I just err on the side of caution.
Then I was in Vegas for 4 days. I never liked Vegas. I liked it even less when I had to think about accommodating time to pump within a ridiculous trade show and client meeting and client dinner schedule, with a time change on top of it. Needless to say it wasn't easy, but I did ok. I was obviously just pumping for supply upkeep and even if I wasn't downing Dayquil and Nyquil like it was my job, I wouldn't have made any attempt to get this milk home. Well, between a few missed pumping sessions and-- I think moreso-- probable borderline dehydration from walking one million square feet of convention center space and 4 days of decongestants, my supply has finally dipped. I think today will be the last day I take anything, so I can start giving AJ some fresh milk again, but right now I am not pumping enough to cover his daily intake so we'll still be mixing with frozen.
I'd like to go on a frozen milk tangent for a moment. AJ doesn't seem to notice a difference.... but frozen milk, to me, smells like freezer burn. It just gets a little funny. It not bad, or sour, but its not the same. If I had a dollar for every time I Googled something about frozen breastmilk, I could quit my job.
Anyway, I know what I can do to increase supply, but now I'm thinking, AJ is 11 months old today. Within 4-6 weeks we will start transitioning him to regular milk (cue panic about cows milk hormones)...so I could probably be ok between what I'm pumping and what I have frozen. Its more of a mental hurdle than anything else. So we'll see. I thank Dayquil, and I especially thank Mucinex, without which I would not have regained the ability to speak. But at the same time I am really looking forward to being medication free.
Now, I have no idea if I am overly cautious when it comes to getting rid of milk that may or may not be tainted with OTC cold remedies. But the guilt that ensued back when I was in my first trimester prevailed and (rather than calling the doctor) I just err on the side of caution.
Then I was in Vegas for 4 days. I never liked Vegas. I liked it even less when I had to think about accommodating time to pump within a ridiculous trade show and client meeting and client dinner schedule, with a time change on top of it. Needless to say it wasn't easy, but I did ok. I was obviously just pumping for supply upkeep and even if I wasn't downing Dayquil and Nyquil like it was my job, I wouldn't have made any attempt to get this milk home. Well, between a few missed pumping sessions and-- I think moreso-- probable borderline dehydration from walking one million square feet of convention center space and 4 days of decongestants, my supply has finally dipped. I think today will be the last day I take anything, so I can start giving AJ some fresh milk again, but right now I am not pumping enough to cover his daily intake so we'll still be mixing with frozen.
I'd like to go on a frozen milk tangent for a moment. AJ doesn't seem to notice a difference.... but frozen milk, to me, smells like freezer burn. It just gets a little funny. It not bad, or sour, but its not the same. If I had a dollar for every time I Googled something about frozen breastmilk, I could quit my job.
Anyway, I know what I can do to increase supply, but now I'm thinking, AJ is 11 months old today. Within 4-6 weeks we will start transitioning him to regular milk (cue panic about cows milk hormones)...so I could probably be ok between what I'm pumping and what I have frozen. Its more of a mental hurdle than anything else. So we'll see. I thank Dayquil, and I especially thank Mucinex, without which I would not have regained the ability to speak. But at the same time I am really looking forward to being medication free.
Monday, January 2, 2012
A New Year!
Happy 2012, and wow, I haven't written in about a month. I guess that is holiday craziness!
I think AJ had a great first Christmas. We didn't overdo it with gifts but somehow our house still looks like Toys R Us and he still enjoys playing with simple Christmas cards and empty plastic bottles. We saw ALL the families over the course of the week. It was busy but it was great to see everyone and they were, of course, thrilled to see AJ. I cannot believe that in a little over 6 weeks he will be a year old. Time is truly flying.
AJ continues to progress into toddler-hood. While he is still not saying ma-ma, he understands SO much! He got this farm toy thing and today I said "feed this to the cow" and he went over and put it in the cow's mouth. He also FINALLY started holding his own bottle....when he feels like it. But at least he is doing it! A few weeks ago we started giving him a sippy cup to get him used to it and he is really starting to get how it works. When I say "lift it up!" he does! It was so wonderful to be home with him for a while week. He must've thought so too because he was SUPER clingy to me every day! He gets to the point where he will not go to anyone else, even Joe, and sometimes he does not let me put him down. Towards the end of the week I figured out how to at least get him to play on the floor with me, as my back is really starting to hurt! But at the same time, I do cherish the closeness (I just worry about going back to work tomorrow and how he will do!)
One thing that is getting more and more difficult is figuring out what to feed him. Its the area I feel the most lost in. I guess he is doing fine since he gained 2 lbs in the past 2 months but I still wish I felt like I had a clue. He is still drinking 3-4 bottles a day, plus 3 meals of baby food a day. He doesnt finish his bottles anymore, but the DR said for the first year we should still try for most of his nutrition to come from the milk but consistently add other foods in. Thats the tough part. I'm giving him a pretty good variety of jarred baby foods, plus unsweetened applesauce, yogurt, and some mashed up fruit over the course of a week. But he is getting more and more interested when Joe and I eat and he REALLY wants to feed himself. He does not have anywhere near the dexterity (or interest) to feed himself with utensils so I need more food ideas that he can pick up with his fingers. Cheerios are great, but I'm having trouble with other things because he only has 2 teeth, and I have choking paranoia. I better read up on this, but I am open for suggestions too!
Well it is a new year so I should probably also post my 2012 resolutions. In no particular order:
-Multitask less. This may seem counterintuitive since I'm forever searching for a way to 'fit it all in' but especially towards the end of '11 I noticed that I haven't been giving anything full undivided attention. My brain is always a little bit somewhere else or on to the next thing. I think focusing more will be better for me, better for AJ, better for Joe, and better for whatever I'm doing.
-Start working out again. Ok, I have been totally riding the busy life/breastfeeding weight loss plan for 10 months. And its been pretty great. But (see below) milk production will not last forever, and though I'm at my lowest weight since the 90's I've clearly also lost ANY shred of fitness. I'm going to aim for 3 days a week of at least a short workout at home, plus one day of yoga. Once winter ends I will be anxious to start walking again with AJ!
-Cut the pump cord by April. Outside of AJ himself, one of the things I am most thankful for in this mom journey has been my ability to continue to be AJs main food source...well, at least food production facility...for all this time. I never imagined it would work out this way especially not with the many tears shed those first few weeks. After a year, when he can start drinking regular milk, it will be time to make the transition. As much as I have cursed that pump over the past many months I am a little sad to know that I'll be moving on. (And ok, as dysfunctional as this may be, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't petrified that once I stop I will gain 15 pounds back immediately.)
-Declutter this house. WE HAVE TOO MUCH (UNNECESSARY) STUFF! (AJs stuff is exempt)
-Cook more. Well AJs evolving eating habits are one reason for this but also I realized most of the cash I spend is on breakfast and lunches at work. Aside from not being the best food choices, I'm sure we can put that $ to better use. I have more yet to be made recipes bookmarked in my Google reader than I care to admit. I'll aim for 2x a week.
Ok, that should do it. Oh, and I also have to plan AJs first bday party. I think I will save the Very Hungry Caterpillar Extravaganza for Age 2.
I think AJ had a great first Christmas. We didn't overdo it with gifts but somehow our house still looks like Toys R Us and he still enjoys playing with simple Christmas cards and empty plastic bottles. We saw ALL the families over the course of the week. It was busy but it was great to see everyone and they were, of course, thrilled to see AJ. I cannot believe that in a little over 6 weeks he will be a year old. Time is truly flying.
AJ continues to progress into toddler-hood. While he is still not saying ma-ma, he understands SO much! He got this farm toy thing and today I said "feed this to the cow" and he went over and put it in the cow's mouth. He also FINALLY started holding his own bottle....when he feels like it. But at least he is doing it! A few weeks ago we started giving him a sippy cup to get him used to it and he is really starting to get how it works. When I say "lift it up!" he does! It was so wonderful to be home with him for a while week. He must've thought so too because he was SUPER clingy to me every day! He gets to the point where he will not go to anyone else, even Joe, and sometimes he does not let me put him down. Towards the end of the week I figured out how to at least get him to play on the floor with me, as my back is really starting to hurt! But at the same time, I do cherish the closeness (I just worry about going back to work tomorrow and how he will do!)
One thing that is getting more and more difficult is figuring out what to feed him. Its the area I feel the most lost in. I guess he is doing fine since he gained 2 lbs in the past 2 months but I still wish I felt like I had a clue. He is still drinking 3-4 bottles a day, plus 3 meals of baby food a day. He doesnt finish his bottles anymore, but the DR said for the first year we should still try for most of his nutrition to come from the milk but consistently add other foods in. Thats the tough part. I'm giving him a pretty good variety of jarred baby foods, plus unsweetened applesauce, yogurt, and some mashed up fruit over the course of a week. But he is getting more and more interested when Joe and I eat and he REALLY wants to feed himself. He does not have anywhere near the dexterity (or interest) to feed himself with utensils so I need more food ideas that he can pick up with his fingers. Cheerios are great, but I'm having trouble with other things because he only has 2 teeth, and I have choking paranoia. I better read up on this, but I am open for suggestions too!
Well it is a new year so I should probably also post my 2012 resolutions. In no particular order:
-Multitask less. This may seem counterintuitive since I'm forever searching for a way to 'fit it all in' but especially towards the end of '11 I noticed that I haven't been giving anything full undivided attention. My brain is always a little bit somewhere else or on to the next thing. I think focusing more will be better for me, better for AJ, better for Joe, and better for whatever I'm doing.
-Start working out again. Ok, I have been totally riding the busy life/breastfeeding weight loss plan for 10 months. And its been pretty great. But (see below) milk production will not last forever, and though I'm at my lowest weight since the 90's I've clearly also lost ANY shred of fitness. I'm going to aim for 3 days a week of at least a short workout at home, plus one day of yoga. Once winter ends I will be anxious to start walking again with AJ!
-Cut the pump cord by April. Outside of AJ himself, one of the things I am most thankful for in this mom journey has been my ability to continue to be AJs main food source...well, at least food production facility...for all this time. I never imagined it would work out this way especially not with the many tears shed those first few weeks. After a year, when he can start drinking regular milk, it will be time to make the transition. As much as I have cursed that pump over the past many months I am a little sad to know that I'll be moving on. (And ok, as dysfunctional as this may be, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't petrified that once I stop I will gain 15 pounds back immediately.)
-Declutter this house. WE HAVE TOO MUCH (UNNECESSARY) STUFF! (AJs stuff is exempt)
-Cook more. Well AJs evolving eating habits are one reason for this but also I realized most of the cash I spend is on breakfast and lunches at work. Aside from not being the best food choices, I'm sure we can put that $ to better use. I have more yet to be made recipes bookmarked in my Google reader than I care to admit. I'll aim for 2x a week.
Ok, that should do it. Oh, and I also have to plan AJs first bday party. I think I will save the Very Hungry Caterpillar Extravaganza for Age 2.
Friday, December 9, 2011
A Tale of Two Pumps
It was the best of times it was the worst of times. Well, not the worst, but perhaps, the "busiest" of times at least. Yesterday in work I was booked solid with meetings from 9:30am through 3:30pm. My typical routine now that I am down to pumping 3x per day, is to pump just once while in work, at around 2 pm. Yesterday's schedule was looking like it would make that quite difficult. Much to my delight, My 1pm meeting ended half an hour early, so at 1:30 I took advantage and went off to seek pump time in the room I have been using since I came back to work.
I was so happy that this worked out. You see, earlier in the week for the first time, I totally forgot to pump at all during the day. When I realized this via significant discomfort as I was stuck in a 5-6pm meeting, there was really nothing I could do about it until after, and I certainly didn't want a repeat of that day as I am still suffering some uncomfortable consequences of that.
So I pumped, and finished up just in time to go to my 2pm meeting without even stopping back at my desk-- since I am the only one who uses that room to pump right now, and it locks, I leave all of my stuff in there until the end of the day when I routinely retrieve it.
Well 5:15pm comes and I'm ready to pack up. I open my desk drawer to get my key to the pump room and...no key. Cue heart sinking and panic setting in. I review the day in my head...I went straight from pumping to my next meeting, didn't drop the key off in my office. OMG. Pump+milk+KEY is locked in the room. I then proceeded to stalk the building in search of anyone else who I knew/I hoped might have the key. HR, already gone. Building Services (who I KNOW has spares) already gone. Receptionist, no key. Cleaning people, no key.
Defeat.
My options at this point were:
- Wait until tomorrow morning to pump when I could get back here and find someone to give me the spare key. Ok, not really an option since if I didnt pump for 19 hours I'd probably explode.
-Pump with my manual pump, one side at a time. Oooof, I dont even know if it would work anymore, I only used to use it for a little 'help' before nursing AJ in the first few months. Maybe it wouldnt be strong enough now.
-Buy a new pump. Well at $300 a pop for the one I have, also not a great option.
In the end, I went to Buy Buy Baby and bought a single electric pump so at least I could plug it in, for a considerably cheaper price. Further rationalized by the notion that I can take it to Vegas with me instead of lugging my big one. But when I got home I decided to give the manual one a whirl anyway, and what do you know, while it was slower for sure, it got the job done. Lots of panic and being near tears for the night (I had a dinner to go to after work of course) but it all worked out.
This morning though, I did have to venture back to building services to ask for the spare key. Having to ask men for a key to the nursing room makes me automatically think they are looking at my boobs, or will look at my boobs every time I see them from now on. And I'm pretty sure it true. But I got the key, am reunited with my own key, and my pump, and yesterdays milk stash. Phew.
I was so happy that this worked out. You see, earlier in the week for the first time, I totally forgot to pump at all during the day. When I realized this via significant discomfort as I was stuck in a 5-6pm meeting, there was really nothing I could do about it until after, and I certainly didn't want a repeat of that day as I am still suffering some uncomfortable consequences of that.
So I pumped, and finished up just in time to go to my 2pm meeting without even stopping back at my desk-- since I am the only one who uses that room to pump right now, and it locks, I leave all of my stuff in there until the end of the day when I routinely retrieve it.
Well 5:15pm comes and I'm ready to pack up. I open my desk drawer to get my key to the pump room and...no key. Cue heart sinking and panic setting in. I review the day in my head...I went straight from pumping to my next meeting, didn't drop the key off in my office. OMG. Pump+milk+KEY is locked in the room. I then proceeded to stalk the building in search of anyone else who I knew/I hoped might have the key. HR, already gone. Building Services (who I KNOW has spares) already gone. Receptionist, no key. Cleaning people, no key.
Defeat.
My options at this point were:
- Wait until tomorrow morning to pump when I could get back here and find someone to give me the spare key. Ok, not really an option since if I didnt pump for 19 hours I'd probably explode.
-Pump with my manual pump, one side at a time. Oooof, I dont even know if it would work anymore, I only used to use it for a little 'help' before nursing AJ in the first few months. Maybe it wouldnt be strong enough now.
-Buy a new pump. Well at $300 a pop for the one I have, also not a great option.
In the end, I went to Buy Buy Baby and bought a single electric pump so at least I could plug it in, for a considerably cheaper price. Further rationalized by the notion that I can take it to Vegas with me instead of lugging my big one. But when I got home I decided to give the manual one a whirl anyway, and what do you know, while it was slower for sure, it got the job done. Lots of panic and being near tears for the night (I had a dinner to go to after work of course) but it all worked out.
This morning though, I did have to venture back to building services to ask for the spare key. Having to ask men for a key to the nursing room makes me automatically think they are looking at my boobs, or will look at my boobs every time I see them from now on. And I'm pretty sure it true. But I got the key, am reunited with my own key, and my pump, and yesterdays milk stash. Phew.
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
Excellence
I got a very nice surprise in work last week. My boss had nominated me and I was selected for our company's 'award for excellence'. The award is given quarterly and is designed to recognize contributions and achievements over time. It came with a physical award that I can keep on my desk, and a few other nice things, like a very nice write up on our company's intranet. I feel very flattered that I received it, and was probably blushing and shaking with the president presented it to me. This experience also showed me very clearly how bad I am at taking compliments. ("SEE??" says Joe)
I think what I am in most disbelief about is the timing of it. I received this in a year that has been my most challenging yet, life wise. When balance has become my new goal and I practically race out of the building at the end of the day for a chance to see AJ before bedtime. I'm not trying to succeed any less, but I certainly have a different sense of priorities, understandably. I've been very lucky that, while returning to work has meant sacrifices (in time), it hasn't been unmanageable so far. Busy weeks are tempered by less busy weeks, most of the time. Working late several days in a row usually means then working from home several days in a row if I can.
I hope that the balance I have found over the past 6 months is something I will be able to continue, since every day AJ is becoming more and more of a little person. This morning Joe merely put his jacket on and AJ started to wave bye-bye! And he has started to be able to identify objects "AJ go get the cup" and he gets it! He also says "cah" repeatedly . We have no idea what it means. First we thought it was 'cat' since he says it when he looks at his books. Then we thought it was 'cup' since he can get his cup. But frankly he says 'cah' at just about every object in the house, so we're just going with it :-) More than anything I hope that someday, with all of the juggling and balancing that is a necessary evil, AJ would also give me an award for mommy excellence. I can't imagine feeling more successful than that.
I think what I am in most disbelief about is the timing of it. I received this in a year that has been my most challenging yet, life wise. When balance has become my new goal and I practically race out of the building at the end of the day for a chance to see AJ before bedtime. I'm not trying to succeed any less, but I certainly have a different sense of priorities, understandably. I've been very lucky that, while returning to work has meant sacrifices (in time), it hasn't been unmanageable so far. Busy weeks are tempered by less busy weeks, most of the time. Working late several days in a row usually means then working from home several days in a row if I can.
I hope that the balance I have found over the past 6 months is something I will be able to continue, since every day AJ is becoming more and more of a little person. This morning Joe merely put his jacket on and AJ started to wave bye-bye! And he has started to be able to identify objects "AJ go get the cup" and he gets it! He also says "cah" repeatedly . We have no idea what it means. First we thought it was 'cat' since he says it when he looks at his books. Then we thought it was 'cup' since he can get his cup. But frankly he says 'cah' at just about every object in the house, so we're just going with it :-) More than anything I hope that someday, with all of the juggling and balancing that is a necessary evil, AJ would also give me an award for mommy excellence. I can't imagine feeling more successful than that.
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